Someone recently said to me in reference to the last phase of Integration (Taking Inspired Action) that they were getting tired of taking "Baby Steps," as they expressed their frustration with themselves. Hmmm, I thought, I know I have felt that way myself before. But today, I guess I look at the baby steps as a blessing and a way of staying more deeply in the moment and connected to others.
I have found that when I take too big a step it is often because of anxious feelings in the moment about the situation and "want to get 'there' already (wherever 'there' is). Usually what it means is, I am uncomfortable and want the uncomfortableness to end as quickly as possible without learning all I can about myself. In other words, just hurry and get it over with. However, the problems is when I have done that, I either make more of a mess of the situation or end up in a similar situation again dealing with the same issues I did not want to deal with the first time around (and usually the universe has turned up the volume a bit the second - or third- time around). By making assumptions, taking wrong action, or out of anger, frustration and fear, I end up hurting either myself or someone I care about because I have felt uncomfortable.
One of my favorite small steps at the first sign of conflict...Before I jump to conclusions, react, and take action based on my own assumptions or hurt feelings...is to stop, take a breath and "check in" with the other person to be sure what they said is what they meant, that I heard them right, and qualify what the energy (intention behind) of the statement was vs. what it felt like.
The gift of the small step is that it keeps us in the moment a little bit longer, helping us gather more information about what is really going on at deep level. It offers us more opportunity to clarify and make adjustments in our view and attitude so that we can adjust future behavior according to the new information.
