Interesting how an illness transforms you. Just a simple bout with the flu is all it took me to see how the body heals. There was one point in the beginning as the flu was coming on, I assume the fever must have just started to spike when my body ached everywhere. Interesting how you become aware of the most intricate of places within, places you hadn't really paid much attention to before, the recesses of even the smallest joints became noticeable. Even sensing my skin became an easy task as it too suddenly seemed to ache with pain. What a gift it was to remember all of these so taken for granted parts. And then the tears began to roll, I just seemed to feel like crying. Was it the physical pain, some attached memory of past illness? Who knows, but that's what healing is, letting what is, be. And that's just what I did, I hadn't the energy to do anything more, but surrender.
And then there was the sweats, how I smiled when my 103* body gave way to a seemingly unending cascade of sweat that even the most intense exercise bout in the mountains of Sedona in August won't do to me. How I laughed inside at the site. I didn't make a sound though, as I was still too tired, my head still in too much pain to utter any sound above a whisper. But inside I smiled knowing that despite what I looked like on the outside my body was still hard at work on the inside taking care of business for itself. I trusted it, like a well oiled machine to get me through to the other side.
As these symptoms raced their way through my body, I was gracious, yes for the help I had to warm the chicken soup, but also for my body that I knew was so capable of taking care of itself. From the fire of the fever, to the cough to clear my lungs, I smiled in amazement and wonder. Don't let me fool you, I got cranky, I watched myself through that too, remembering my younger days when I felt so sick and was still sent off to school. There was no mercy back in those days. And now, I could choose, would I serve or would I lie still and be served. I did it differently for myself this time and I believe my body appreciated it. No drugs, just herbs and some Kosher chicken soup. In 24 hours I got passed the aches and chills and fever. Two days of rest after that and I hope to be back to a light schedule of work for tomorrow. The cough still lingers as a reminder of what my body has gone through...A massive cleansing of sorts. Intuitively I knew that was what was called for at this time and I simply stepped aside and let it happen. And happen it did, why fight with what is? I (en)joyed it as much as I could and when I say that what I mean is, I just did what I always do, be the ever present observer without judgement or criticism or a plan for how I expect it to go. Yes quickly would be nice in this case, but in complete acceptance of what is.
